i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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