i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
