I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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