I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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