my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
