nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
