If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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