i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
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