and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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