I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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