you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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