She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Are we still banned from the library?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
