i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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