when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
