also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize