She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
NoShamevember. You game?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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