Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Randomize
