Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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