People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
