If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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