ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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