Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
