My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
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