Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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