she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
