How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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