went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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