I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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