bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
