Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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