Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
