he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
