I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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