Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
