I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
