Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
