Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
