More tranny stories later!
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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