It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
