I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
