I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
