I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
