the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize