Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
