I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
