Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
