Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
