I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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