i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Sober January is a disaster.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
