I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
