Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize