just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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