'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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