Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
