we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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