pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
