I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
