He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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