I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.