Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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