nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
