Texts From Last Night

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  (954): View more from Florida

  You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter

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  (954): You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter http://tfl.nu/xmwz
  Replies (17) Good night (2187) Bad night (553)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.

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  (506): Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites. http://tfl.nu/r5fj
  Replies (19) Good night (3185) Bad night (810)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka

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  (240): At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka http://tfl.nu/5kll
  Replies (21) Good night (1079) Bad night (5496)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.

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  (603): Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever. http://tfl.nu/1r4h
  Replies (21) Good night (4893) Bad night (1064)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.

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  (517): I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him. http://tfl.nu/gawh
  Replies (5) Good night (2885) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish

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  (772): Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish http://tfl.nu/fyel
  Replies (9) Good night (2311) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.

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  (715): I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help. http://tfl.nu/ztsu
  Replies (3) Good night (1389) Bad night (713)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.

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  (973): That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that. http://tfl.nu/drll
  Replies (13) Good night (2171) Bad night (848)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?

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  (+44): PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end? http://tfl.nu/1yv9
  Replies (4) Good night (1720) Bad night (538)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.

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  (281): And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin. http://tfl.nu/b3st
  Replies (4) Good night (560) Bad night (955)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.

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  (612): we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day. http://tfl.nu/zhdr
  Replies (6) Good night (1255) Bad night (379)
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  (818): View more from California

  She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.

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  (818): She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her. http://tfl.nu/k3ta
  Replies (4) Good night (423) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.

  (1-250): View more from British Columbia

  Aspirations

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  (250): My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him. (1-250): Aspirations http://tfl.nu/oh99
  Replies (2) Good night (452) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza

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  (651): I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza http://tfl.nu/ksxf
  Replies (0) Good night (309) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE

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  (703): YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE http://tfl.nu/za5g
  Replies (0) Good night (517) Bad night (222)

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