you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
