I think i peed on brittanys purse
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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