I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
