I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
