Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize