More tranny stories later!
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
bring money and cleavage
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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