? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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