My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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