the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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